More Than A Mom
5 Tips To Regain Confidence As A Mom
Motherhood requires sacrifice, dedication, perseverance, and an incredible amount of strength. Our work as mothers is vital. Whether you are a working mom or a stay at home mom, you know this to be true.
Despite the value of our work, we often undervalue ourselves in our role as mothers. Especially in the midst of the everyday butt-wiping, tabling clearing, laundry doing tasks that us mamas are constantly tending to. It’s so easy to lose our sense of self and purpose in this season of life. But, mama, let me assure you of this- you are not JUST a mom.
More Than Just a Kid
Motherhood is the most important job you will ever have. Why? Because your kids are more than JUST kids. They are little humans who will grow up to leave a lasting impact on the world. Of course, whether that impact is good or bad is ultimately up to them. However, as the mother, you are ingraining into them their foundation that will guide them through life.
Their moral compass, the way they view the world and treat people is largely based on their interactions with you, the security and confidence you provide, and their perception of how you treat them and others.
Your child is not only a child, but a future adult. More importantly, you are raising souls! In the end, everything on earth will fade: the money you earn, the house you build, the reputation you make- everything. But, our souls are eternal. Your children’s souls are eternal, and where that eternity is spent beyond this earth is powerfully impacted by how those souls are nurtured by us mothers during these vital years of their development. I know this is heavy. I know the weight in this- as mothers, we feel it. This, however, should not leave us burdened or anxiety-filled, but with encouragement and a sense of urgency in using the time we have with full intention.
What a blessing it is that we have this responsibility. We can know our children are getting what they need to flourish, because we are the ones who are providing it. It’s important for us to be confident as mothers if we want to raise these souls well.
Who We Are
To have full confidence as a mother, we need to be confident in who we are at our core. We need to remember who we were before we became mothers. We need to remember who we continue to be, as well as being a mom. So many moms enter motherhood and soon struggle with the sense of “losing themselves”, and I was no exception.
Not only are we mothers, we are friends, many of us are wives, and most importantly, we are all daughters of Christ. In addition to these things, it’s worth noting what you do as a job if you are working outside the home- a nurse, teacher, IT technician, etc. Before you became a mom, did you love to hike? Perhaps you were a hiker, an artist, a writer, a photographer or whatever you loved to do before motherhood. Those things that were important to you then, are more than likely still important to you now, even if you aren’t finding the time to do them. Your hobbies, work, friends and family are still a part of you and worth being a part of you. Don’t let these go. It’s hard to not allow motherhood to consume you so much that it becomes all you are. Mama, you are so much more than a mom. It is worth taking the time to be ALL you are, and not just a mom- even in this season where being a mom is taking up most of your time.
If you can read this, you can send a quick text to your friend saying you’re thinking of them. When you see your husband next, greet him with a hug, smile and great enthusiasm! (It’s amazing what a simple excited greeting can do for a relationship). Read your Bible and be in constant prayer. At work, do your job well and wholeheartedly. I know passions and hobbies are hard to make time for, but if you can able yourself to do them, you will be able to flourish in all that you are. Maybe have your partner or other trusted person to watch them for an hour or two. If that’s not an option, try doing them with your kids! It sounds impossible and it might be, but it’s worth trying for your sake!
These things are worth finding time for, because they make you full and confident as a whole person. As a result, you will be able to be more confident in how you live out your role as a mom.
5 Tips To Regain Confidence As A Mom
1.) Know Your Worth
You are a Son of God, blood bought daughter of Christ! Allow that to sink in- you are so valuable to the God of the universe that he sent down his own son to die for you. He finds you that worthy and loves you that much. This should bring us so much joy and confidence, because this allows us to live from a place of worth. As a daughter of Christ, we do not need to work tirelessly to try to create our own value and worth via money, status, position, or anything else we could bring to the table. We already hold value above what any of that could measure. Therefore, we can confidently live and mother from a place of already being worthy.
2.) Change Your Mindset About What It Means To Be Successful
In today’s world, we often find our confidence in what we are able to contribute to the home financially, in the amount of tasks we complete in a day or in the goals we achieve. When we come home from work or while staying home with the kids, we no longer get the gratification of “completing our job” or a paycheck for our work. We aren’t moving up a career ladder or changing positions. We stay a mom- same position with the same daily wage ($0.00).
However, successful mothering has nothing to do with these things, and offers far greater reward than what money, power, or time could give us. When I fixed my mindset and understood the valuable outcome of intentional mothering, I gained so much more respect for and became much more confident in the position I hold as a mother.
3.) Be Intentional And Present With Your Kids
Your kids are your main ministry, and the reward you get from intentionally mothering your children goes far beyond what we will see in this lifetime. The more time and energy you intentionally put into your children, the more confident you will feel in what you are doing. This is hard, the days are long, I get it. To put so much of yourself into these needy little humans is exhausting. But nothing kills my confidence as a mother faster than the end of those days where I was checked out and passively going through the motions: scrolling on my phone, not playing, not teaching, not modeling to my children what I desire for them.
I struggle with this so often! It may sound silly to ask God for strength to play with blocks enthusiastically with my child, but some days we need a divine force to give us strength to do just that! It takes so much mental and emotional (and sometimes even physical) work to be fully present with our children. However, it will benefit your children, and you will see the fruits of your labor. Let’s hold ourselves accountable to this!
At the end of those days when you are intentional and present with your kids, you will go to bed proud of your work and time spent. Your investment in your children will spur on your confidence in motherhood as you act intentionally on your purpose as a mom.
4.) Remember Who You Were Before You Became A Mom (And Keep Being Those Things!)
As a Christian, we need to keep our relationship with Christ strong to mother well. Keep reading His Word, continue to pray, turn on worship music to have in the background- these things will keep you grounded in Him. If you are a wife, love your husband and enjoy him. Laugh with him, talk to him, even if it’s only 5 minutes at the end of a busy day. Check in with your friends, a simple text here and there can be all you need to keep up with them. Make time for your hobbies. It takes effort to make time, but it’s worth it.
5.) Speak Positive Language And Truth About Your Position As A Mom
The best way to change our mindset is from the inside out, but sometimes we need a little help by working the other way – outside in. Even if you don’t feel it yet, speak life about your role as a mom. Saying affirmations aloud such as “My job as a mom is valuable” and “I am confident” can help you make that belief travel inward about yourself and your position. And please, for Pete’s sake, STOP saying “I’m JUST a mom”. There is so much responsibility in being a mother. It takes too much of you to undervalue it with that saying! Speak positively about being a mom to yourself and others, and you will start to believe and become more confident in it!
Let me just say, this is not a 5 step program to ultimate confidence. These are things I am consistently coming back to and reminding myself of. I know they are easier said than done, but I assure you, they will lead to a more confident mama!
Share this post if you were encouraged!
I hope you know you are valuable, loved, and prayed for. Motherhood is not for the faint of heart. If you feel you have lost yourself in your role as mom, let me remind you that you are so much more than a mom. You are fearfully and wonderfully made to be exactly who you are: your hobbies, creativity, personality, a friend, sister, daughter, etc.
I really enjoyed reading your post. You did a beautiful job writing it. I am continued to be blessed by it. Can’t wait to see more!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you SO much- I am beyond grateful to hear you were encouraged! I am so excited to get more into your hands!